Inside Duke Medicine
Hoops disorder victims are expected to rebound
posted March 5th, 2009
Inside Online’s playful effort to name a disease to reflect the Duke-UNC basketball rivalry has touched a nerve. Dozens of suggestions have arrived, and a News & Observer blog urges readers to weigh in.
Among the most inspired: “Hooping cough” and “Bluekeymia.” To post your suggestion and read others, click on “comments” below.
Note: The following was the original post.
It’s high time we all faced the sobering medical fact: The Duke-Carolina basketball rivalry is a disease without a name.
Yes, it’s gut-wrenching. Yes, it’s heart-pounding. Yes, light blue induces insanity. But those are mere labels for obvious symptoms.
DUHS employees should rise to the occasion (the occasion being 4 p.m. Sunday for the regular-season-ending Duke-UNC men’s game) and christen this malady once and for all.
Click on “comment” below to suggest a name. We’ll start the bidding with “indoorcrynopathy.”
Comments
Bluekeymia
Blue Fever
In the spirit of the dreaded Yellow Fever of the past, Blue Fever would be an appropriate name for this equally highly contagious afflication. Blue Fever, unlike Yellow Fever is not fatal, but is a life long condition once bitten by the triangle tobacco road blue virus for which there is no known cure nor any known desire to even look for a cure.
ACCyanosis or “Blue Disease”
Roundballitis
CDIT (Carolina-Duke Induced Tachycardia)
RIPE (Rivalry Induced Panic Epidemic)
azuredystrophy - a mental disorder brought about by two specific shades of blue that occurs in early spring and is detected by a particular fever that is often confused by March Madness. If treated quickly, symptoms can be minimized. However, this particular strain is very difficult to detect and often lingers beyond ACC Tournament and culminates with the NCAA Championship game. Be aware though that this disease is known to have flare ups that occur beginning in October and lasting through April. If left untreated the afflicted can spread this disease through any form of social contact. The affected parties have been known to paint their faces in two distinctly different shades of blue and resort to uncontrolled mania. It is best to leave the demented to their own hysterics and try to avoid all contact.
Name of the rivalry disease between Duke and UNC: DevilHeel Phobia.
lightbluerivalitis
My name would be “wepdukbluotomy”. A very sad disease but treatable if they win against Carolina…lolololo!!!
How about…
tardevilosis
blueheelinitis
or, my favorite,
acute heeliotosis complicated by devilticulitis
Caerulatopy
“DevilHeelonitis”
carolinazureinsania
tarheelbattleitis
How about “DU-NC-itis”
DevilRam disease
Ducarolitagious or Ducaroliphomia
Devil’s Heel.
I am a UNC graduate (MPH 2006) and currently a Duke employee. Although I always know theTarheels will win, I have something called the TWO-BLUE FLU.
idioblupathy
“Bluetities”= it’s when two types of blue come together and clash head on providing a game that it’s nothing like the “singing blues”.
Hooping cough.
cyanitis
camerinsanity
heelophobia
Tardevil dyskinesia: characterized by twitching when the opposing team scores and loss of motor control when your team wins.
Blue Opposition Overload Syndrome (BOOS)
If we were talking surgical - could be a tarheelectomy.
Otherwise, tarheelitis
A psychiatric disorder with two names depending on the result of the game:
Durhamatologic Blues - characterized by an itching to get ‘em next time.
or:
Chapel Hill Street Blues - characterized by the mass arrest (to be followed by insanity pleas) of Heels fans who exhibit an inability to accept reality and respond with a violent loss of control.
ADHD - Acute Devil Heel Dissociation
This condition is found primarily in Durham and Orange Counties, but has even been detected in other areas across the nation!
The Blue Plague
Blue Hoopitis
I was born with a genetic condition passed down from my mom’s side of the family that consists of two different diseases both of which are incurable: a Hansbrough aversion in which at any moment upon seeing or hearing anything about UNC basketball player Tyler Hansbrough (or any other player from UNC, past or present, throwing a whining fit on the stadium floor) I am prone to fits of rage only cured by the presence of someone else with a Hansbrough aversion and removal of all Hansbroughphiliacs from the premises; and Bluedevilphilia because of which I love all things Duke and dark blue:)
Ramdookieitis
“Blue Hoop-us”
Blue-pox
Blue-Thrush
Blue-matoid-arthritis
Bluematoid Arthritis
Blue Trush - Thrush usually develops suddenly, but it may become chronic, persisting over a long period of time.
RABID BLUE WARNING
Bluesitis
Blue Flu
Bubonic Blue Flu
Irritable BLUE Syndrome
Bluebonic Plague
High BLUE Pressure
15-501 Hooposis
Blue Gradient Aversion Disorder
Better Blue Envy
devilhill disease
Azuredyslexia
dukevs.carolinaitis
bluecinations
C.Linadukitis
Since both are top level hospitals, then calling it, CODING BLUE, for the famous play of the day.
Carolina /Duke blues. To cure this is when one of them wins, and is no cure when one of them loses. They will have the blues until they win.
ACUTE BLUE"FUED"ITIS
Carodukeitis-pronounced karo-duke-itis or karo-duk-ee-itis
Bluesitis sounds perfect; although, I see it had already been offered. Also: TBRS Two Blue Rivalry Syndrome.
ABPS - acquired basketball proficiency syndrome
cyanomania
Dyed and gone to my blue heaven
cyanotic syncope…Feeling faint and oxygen deprived after several slumps and come-backs
Advanced Tar Heels
Blubonic Dunkitis
IndUNCussusception-
A telescoping of the intestinal wall of Duke fans triggered by a favored player, typically a guard (often wearing #3), being dunked on by a Tarheel. Untreated, this condition can result in emesis (of foul verbiage), painful stools, nightmares and/or panic attacks (at the sight of Carolina blue). This is condition can be effectively treated with a victory by the dunked upon team…...though such therapy is available in rather limited quantities. Otherwise, it tends to cause recurring symptoms for a period of 9-10 months. When encountered by Duke players as opposed to fans, it does not respond
It is important to note that this condition has been mimicked in Tarheel fans, but it is exceedingly rare. A similar clinical picture has also been noted in case reports with Duke fans associated with known triggers like Booker, Aminu, Wilcox and Thorton. However, symptoms in these case reports have typically been self-limiting as opposed to classic IndUNCussusception.
Bluephoria!
We should not look at this as a disease that can be cured, but as an acceptable chronic condition with obsessive-compulsive symptoms.
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