Inside Duke Medicine
The AIG and I*—Name that disease redux
posted March 23rd, 2009
OK, we know the supposed cure for the U.S. economy is a “recovery plan.”
But that begs the question – what exactly is the disease?
Once again, who better to diagnose than the employees of Duke University Health System?
Scores of you responded when Inside Online asked you to name the “disease” for the Duke-UNC basketball rivalry. Now’s your chance to make history again by christening the bug that ails the nation’s economy.
Inside Online suspects scaredoma, or perhaps aigzema. Second opinion anyone? Just go to “leave a comment” below.
* Apologies to author Betty MacDonald
Comments
billemia
The AIG and I* — Name that disease redux
Toxic Assets Shock Syndrome
Trans-anemic Pan-global Hypo-fiatulence.
self-indulgitis
elititus ( L-eat-eye-tus) : When a small group of people who consider themselves better than everyone else manipulate an economy for further personal gain.
nonrepresantigo (non-reh-pre-san-tie-go) : When elected officials fail to represent the people, and choose to vote in their own manner.
These two diseases are running rampant in our government today. With Obama laughing about who is getting the most bailout, it is obvious that the people in Washington do not stand for you or I, but for their own self-grandization. When US Congressional Representatives get on WRAL’s news and state they have mostly all calls to vote no on the original bailout back in November, but they still voted yes, it shows they do not represent the people. It is unfortunate that these people still keep getting voted into office. When big Money Makers, like Jim “hedgefund” Cramer get called out with video with them stating that they DO manipulate the economy and its EASY, what more evidence do you need?
Solution: Abolish the Federal Reserve System, a PRIVATE enterprise that manipulates the economy by printing money that is backed by promises. Liquidate their assets and buy up Gold. Then put the money making back into the hands of the US Government, which was pre-ordained by the Constitution. And the biggest step that anyone can take is GET INVOLVED!
NOFUNDS DISEASE
Chronic Econopenia
This is usually caused by the AIG strain of the bad business virus; though most experts agree it appears to have parasitic tendencies.
This responds well to Economic Cyclosporins; Use caution with the Artificial Augmentins as they may cause the patient to feel better at first, but then suddenly crash.
Bonusonic Plague with symptoms of greedema
Diffuse Looting Market Sydrome
Derivativitis
or, possibly,
ARDS—Asset Repulsion-Driven Shock
The Royal Dupe
How about Riganomics or Econamortis
Plain old greed
Bail-me-out itis or greenback anemia.
I think we need to boost our daily saloric intake.
House of Carditis
End Stage Spending Disease
Consumption (Conspicuous)
Panicitis
Panic self explained
itis feeling after eating a satisfying meal.
How about Metastatic avariceoma?
Christopher Dodd’s Disease characterized by government forced vomiting of money from banks through loans to people who can’t afford them in the name of “equality”.
Financial Fiascoliosis – The abnormal curvature of the backbone of our financial system. May require a “bracing” period to correct.
Affluenza
Brewster’s Millitis:
After the movie Brewster’s Millions, the point of which was that the hero had to burn through tons of money in order to be rewarded with… more money.
Who knew it would become a documentary?
PoorBusinessPracticesitis or Blindedbygreedglaucoma
——-
Uncontrolled Type-2 Diabetes resulting in vascular damage - For years the market’s been on a steady diet of donuts with some protein, fruits and vegetables, several years ago the traders enticed it with high concentrated dextrose IV solution (D5000W - toxic asset based securities starting with housing) this made the market more hyperactive now the kidney has suffered vascular damage and is in Acute Renal Failure. The plan of care calls for a more balanced diet… and the patient needs to be detoxified, however the patient is sedentary(obese) it’s brain refuses to deal with the new diet(banks) and the food grocers (us the poor people) are at home hoarding the food because we are afraid the patient can’t pay for it.